As a parent, I have always been deeply concerned about the unrealistic presentations of chicken: the airbrushing, the over-the-top makeup, the sick-looking body types. You know, just treating it like it’s a piece of meat. I think this article in the New York Times Dining Section is creating an atmosphere for my children that will cause them to question their own appearance and bring about eating disorders and poor body image.

Actually, if anything, it should make them question how much fat they are getting in every bite of fried chicken at our next family BBQ. Have you ever taken the skin off of a raw chicken and seen how much of that disgusting yellow globby fat there is? That alone has stopped me from eating chicken with the skin on it for the last 15 years.

I hold nothing against chicken eaters. I hold nothing against vegetarians. I hold nothing against PETA and their fight to improve the lives of animals, so I guess I am really mystified by the uproar. I thought the photo was kinda cute — in fact, I never thought of a raw chicken as being “cute” until today. I strongly doubt that any roosters are going to get a hold of this paper and get all hot and bothered. And it’s pretty doubtful that Hugh Hefner is going to change the logo from a bunny to a chicken. So what is this about? Somewhere in the back of my mind, I just know that there is a conspiracy. It must be the Chick-fil-A cows behind this titilating exploitation.

PETA folks are upset about the provocative posing of a chicken — really? I guess that this is pretty serious. I mean, after all, they are upset that it is a “fully plucked, young, decapitated” chicken in the photo. I guess it wouldn’t have been so bad if they would have done a shoot with a chicken who was the age equivalent to Betty White, complete with broken-necked floppy head and feathers? Correct me if I am wrong, but I am pretty sure it’s the PETA people who use sexy young women models who are naked to protest animal furs and animal cruelty.

I think PETA needs to “cry fowl” about something a little more important than this “hot chick” who got her 15 minutes of post-mortem fame in the New York Times.